You know, it's really irksome that we have to go through all this stuff. Why can't we just accept our bodies as they are?

This site contains hundreds of nude photos of Tom, the world's most exhibitionistic midwesterner. Tom is over 21 proof on file. Tom's buddies are all over 18 -- usually, ahem, WELL over 18. People appearing clothed in the photos on this site taken in public can be of any age whatsoever. If you are a policeman, security person, law enforcement agent, senator, crazy right-wing kiddie porno seeker, Jerry Springer, a pope, Allan Ginsberg, or anyone in cahoots with any of the above, you are wasting your time here. Understand that if you try to make a reputation by hounding webmasters like me, you will, according to your religious beliefs, have any of the following happen to you: (A) experience a whole mess o' bad karma (B) spend most of eternity in Purgatory (C) not be selected for the Rapture (D) be tormented in your celibate sleep by sadomasochistic dreams involving angry webmasters and their domestic partners (E) be so hated by your children that you will be trapped in a hellish nursing home by your now vengeful offspring when you become old and feeble.

That said, on this site there are photos and references to nudity. If you look carefully enough, there is material of an adult nature. So if you look, don't complain. This site is not for minors and if you're under 18 (or even under 21 in a couple of places) then the authorities and the managers of this site do not want you to see the penises and buttocks available herein. (Mostly penises, actually; very few buttocks.) When you view pages on this site or click on its links you are asserting that you are of legal age and can legally view these images. If you are under 18, or if images of the nude male body offend you, then please leave. We ourselves are offended by images of the clothed male body, and we froth at the mouth when there is no reason on God's green earth why that guy should be wearing that silly little bathing suit covering up God's great bodily creation. (Very few people listen to us, apparently.) Your dick and your balls just feel so much better when they're free and... Oh, wait, we forgot that you're offended by that kind of stuff. OK, then please leave. When you leave we recommend that you investigate the lingerie ads in your local newspaper or use Google to find out which United States representatives and/or senators have invested money in the adult film industry.

So when you accept this agreement and/or enter this adult website you aver, warrant, assert, claim, and say that these things are true:

(1) You are at least 18 years of age (and 21 in states like Alabama, Mississippi, Nebraska, and Wyoming).
(2) According to the contemporary community standards in your community, such images, ideas, and essays are not obscene.
(3) You really do voluntarily want to view this material and we are not twisting your arm right now to force you to do so.
(4) You do not have your fingers crossed. Nor your toes.
(5) You have read every word of this disclaimer and you agree to be legally bound by it (in a legal, nonsadomasochistic sort of way).
(6) You have laughed at least once while reading this disclaimer, but understand that besides all the fun material, this disclaimer is a serious and legally binding contract to which you have voluntarily consented. (If you have not laughed yet, then laugh now.)
(7) You will not permit anyone else not of legal age or who could be offended to see what you find here on this site. That means you, you right-wing jerk entrapping parents who tell your kids to surf to sites you've picked out for them so that you can then complain to the local authorities to say that your kids have been corrupted. Oh, puhleeze, you know you do that and you know who you are. See (A) through (E) above.

OK, now on to copyright. Copyright is held by Tom himself, or by outdoornudity.org, in most instances. Other photos are licensed or used by permission. If you are the copyright holder for a particular image and wish to have it removed from this site, we will do so promptly (typically in a matter of minutes after it is brought to our attention). However, we suggest instead that we link to your site from that image or from a thumbnail of it. That way you'll get traffic from people who really want to see more of your images. It's your choice.

Are you using one of our images? Then let's have a talk. If you're a jerk, we'll sue. If you're reasonable, we'll get along.

And one final note for those of you familiar with recent U.S. government regulations of this industry: On this site there are no visual depictions of an actual human being engaged in actual sexually explicit conduct. We had wanted to include a few, but we're not very good at keeping records so we have decided to confine this site solely to photos which do not require such records. We think that's a shame, but that's the way it is.